Minutes
“I need $250,000,” I said.
“How much?”
“250 grand. 250K. Two-five-oh large. The biiiig quarter million. And I need all of it. I need video cameras, tapes and office supplies. I need a six-year coordinator stipend and tuition waiver, and funding for 10 researchers. I need an office assistant. I need incentives for interviewees. I need Power-2000 NP-FP70 P-Series Lithium-Ion Battery Packs! I need interview space, transportation, everything, man. My needs, they run deep.”
“But why?” they asked.
“Because 1) we don’t know anything, and 2) we need to know everything,” I said. “Need proof? Read this.” I slipped them the grant. “And by the way, this finding out stuff, it’s all very exciting. Let me tell you about the homeless guy who managed to pass 401. Let me tell you about the creative writer who nearly managed to flunk it.”
“Hm,” they said, “that is interesting.”
We talked for exactly 22 minutes. Then they walked out, randomly repeating words like curriculum and writing intensive.
(to be continued)